IS MOLESTING ART ODD?

July 2, 2009 by Dels

Art Molestation is a web-based project where two weird men ‘molest’ famous works of Art. The people at Art Molestation say it’s for “the silent majority of men who are deeply aroused by great works of art. For the uncountable millions consumed by shame every time they get a boner at a Botticelli, or a tent-pole at a Titian. This is for you, brothers. Stand tall, stand proud, stand together. You are not alone.” Haha, what the …?

For some people this may be one of those jokes where you had to be there to find it funny. Well, the images accompanied by their perverted thoughts made me laugh… but then again, I laugh at the most stupid things. I think I may get arrested by the art police for posting such an odd idea. Click READ THE REST to see various artworks being ‘molested’ by them verbally and visually.

Flowers are sluts

“Flowers are the sluts of the natural world. If you think about it, a sunflower is nothing but a great big yellow snatch waiting for a bee to rub the dripping spunk of another sunflower all over it. Every sunflower you’ve ever met is actually involved in a permanent public inter-species threesome: two flowers on one horny little bee. So think about that next time you give your Mum a bunch of dafidols. Mmmm. Man, just thinking about that gets us hot.”

Boy-on-boy paint sex

“We don’t normally go for boy-on-boy action, but had to make an exception for this hot hunk of Impressionism. His full, sensual lips and pert bowler hat aroused our secret man-lust, and before you could say ‘Brokeback Mountain,’ we’d discovered the delicious secrets hidden ‘neath the velvety folds of his mysterious blue coat. Since that night, it’s been impossible to look at a slightly sinister Frenchman from the late 19th century in the same way again.”

Nipple Cripple

“We don’t discriminate, even when molesting great works of art. Seriously, you could be a painting of a blind, paraplegic, Costa Rican Nazi and we’d still tear you a new one. That’s how much we love equal opportunities. In this case, we jumped at the chance to give this little laddie some cripple nipple. Just cos he’s on crutches don’t mean we won’t tweak his pert cherries until they’re proudly saluting us from their wine-dark aureole all the way to the creamy tip.”

Finger-banging

“Fingerbanging this crusty, old grizzly bear came blissfully close to sensory overload. We fully and filthily explored every inch of his frail body — from the sweaty stank hole sweetness of his pipe tobacco mouth, to the rough and ready ringlets in his rusty beard pubes, to the disturbingly deep, cum-stained walls of his inner ear. This geriatric gimp singlehandedly cured our (self?) hatred of over-the-hill, closeted homosexuals. Thanks, whatever-your-name-is!”

Yes. Molesting art is ODD. lol